Accident Part 2

Awake what seemed like just moments later, I pulled myself from the floor of the corn field and the world started to spin.  I could feel everything now, even my heart beat synchronizing with the painful throb in my head.  Tracking myself created an empty feeling in my soul.  The light would not shut off and fueled the pain.  My footprints and marks in the slimy field where I had fallen triggered more nausea than my empty stomach could handle.

Dry attempts to vomit took me into darkness again, and then light pierced through to awake me.  Reaching the road my thoughts were still numb and I could not stop the earth from spinning.  Now free of the slime I felt a new pain, followed by a noticeable limp.  All that was numb before I had run was now alive with feeling.

I felt my face like a blind women would outline her lovers.  My skin tight and caked with dry blood, I could not imagine what the swelling looked like.  Walking down the road in a daze fear took over my clouded thoughts.  What had just happened?  Was I walking the right direction?  Was I the only one hurt?  Do my parents know what happened?

So many questions and only a bloody shirt and a broken face as answers, what next?  Walking passed road signs I recognized, I still felt lost, and the light would not stop.  The hottest day in September that year I swear I was being punished from above.  Walking down the dirt road I found myself dreaming up ways I could avoid responsibility for what had just happened.

Dizzy, exhausted, and confused I walked past 6 or 7 roads that would have taken me home.  Soon a town was visible and the thought of water hitting my lips fueled my walking speed.  The gas station clerk looked like she just drank sour milk as she pointed towards the bathroom.

The cold water was too much for my stomach, but nothing was going to keep me from drinking more.  To vomit water had never felt so good, and soon I held some water down.  Looking at my face for the first time is hard to describe.  Like one of those stupid “switching body” movies I felt empty and confused about who I was looking at.

Walking out of the gas station I realized I was now about 10 miles from my house.  The dark cloud around my brain was getting thinner, and my thoughts became clearer.  Flashes of what had just happened ripped through my mind.  Reality was taking over, I knew now that all my dreams I had walking where not going to happen.

This was a serious accident, cops, ambulances, witnesses; I was in some big trouble.  I continued to walk down M-46 west of Alma towards my house.  The sun was now at full throttle, and I wondering why the fuck I didn’t get ice tea; the pop was making me nauseous.  A few miles down the road a car stops and I hitch a ride with a complete stranger.  My story was I got in a fight, which was not completely untrue, just left out the part that the other guy was my truck windshield.

Arriving home I found a note on the table from my parents telling me to call my dad’s phone, he had one of those bag phones in his work truck.  I listened to the message on the answering machine while I looked for my father number.  The first message was the Isabella County Police Office around 3 am.  The next message was my parents and it mirrored what the note said on the table.  Now in tears, I called my father and as he answered I simply said, “I’m home”.  “Ok buckwheat, you better call the police office they are out here looking for you still”.

I never went to the hospital, my uncle Chuck was a nurse for 20 years and he said they won’t do anything about your nose.  He said I most likely suffered a mild concussion, and a high ankle sprain from running into the guard rail.  I never received any punishment legally for being under the influence of alcohol, as I did not see the police till days later.  I received tickets for driving without a license, no insurance, and speeding.  Later, the county sued me for the cost of the guard rail and the dead-end sign; however I fought and won my appeal that there had not been a dead-end sign.  Looking back I wonder how much liability the county really had due to the fact the guard rail was ineffective, and the improper signing of the road could have been looked at in a court of law.

Drunk, upset about a football game, and exhausted I was driving around a pickup with only one headlight and no driver’s license.  Taking a friend to, what I later found out to be another party, and then getting lost on back roads surrounding Shepherd.  I picked the only road in the area that didn’t go over the expressway, maybe there was a reason I crashed where I did.

I was the only person hurt in the crash, but I can only image the timing of my truck crashing out onto the expressway, one can speculate on how easily this story could be much different.  If any of the people who stopped that night read this I hope that you understand I am very grateful for all that you did that night.

I have a scar below my lower lip that reminds me every day how lucky I am to be alive.  Passing out so soon after a concussion can be fatal, and alcohol thins the blood so I could have bled to death just from my broken nose.  I just told my girlfriend this story last night and she was confused about which one made me stop drinking.  Unfortunately I was 18 years-old at the time of this one, and didn’t stop drinking till 6 months after I turned 21.

This accident happened before my “A changed man” post.  God has strange ways of strengthening us and I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason.  Somehow I pushed through my senior year of high school, stayed on the football team, and graduated.  If anything different happens that night I might not be writing this blog, which I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I understand that living in the past, to some degree, can be unhealthy.  If we get so caught up in the past then we lose sight of our future, and focus on what is happening now.  Reflecting back on our lives and moments however sometimes gives us a clearer vision of our purpose in life.  Moments that change our life, for better or worse, should never fade completely from the way we live our lives.  I can honestly say that I have already been on two paths in my life, and at some point chose the one I’m on now.  The lyrics from “Stairway to Heaven” symbolize my life to this point.

 

“Stairway To Heaven”

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying the stairway to heaven.

There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there’s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There’s a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it’s whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know,
The piper’s calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.

The Accident Part 1

I awake with blurred vision and blood everywhere.  I can see lights and hear people yelling but I am lost to what is going on.  I rip my blood soaked shirt off and apply pressure to my face and nose.  My face is numb, my body is numb, and my thoughts are numb.  Leaning back in the bench seat of the pickup I position my face and nose to help stop the bleeding.

I hear voices again but understand nothing, everything is black again.  Louder voices make clear to the importance of me getting out of my truck.  The blackness fades and I position my boots at my door, long loud horn blasts echo after each streak of lights pass.  A burst of adrenaline transforms into my boots colliding with my driver’s door again and again.  I hear more sound encouraging me to continue hitting the door with all my strength.

The blackness comes back, followed by flashes of people, my truck, and the action of pushing it off a road.  Soothing voices tell me stories of an ambulance that is on its way.  Shirtless, bleeding, blackness… broken nose, blackened thumb, more blackness.  Loud noises flashing lights…I run!

Full sprint back down the marks my pickup had just made in the tall grass.  Confused, shirtless, and bleeding I ran full sprint.  The echo of sirens fueled my speed; a metal guard rail slowed my speed.  Now limping, confused, and numb I walk into more darkness.  More voices follow me pleading me to stop.

The last ounce of energy available to my body leaves me running again.  Running from the sirens, running from the voices, running from my accident.  The mud is slimy and my balance weak, soon my boots are to heavy and I fall into horizontal darkness.

What if…

Life has all types of moments that define who we are as individuals.  I have always said everything happens for a reason and because of this, timing is everything.  The two things go hand in hand in my perspective on life.  Growing up in central Michigan I developed a certain set of values and habits that would never be the same had I grown up somewhere else.

I don’t mean that central Michigan is the best place a guy can live his childhood, what I mean is, if I had grown up in say, Egypt, then I would have different values.  One could also say that my beliefs, habits, religion, moral ethics, the list could go on and on…

Living in Michigan has given me, culture.  It doesn’t mean that someone else living in Michigan also has the same culture as me however; my sister and I are the same in many ways, however very different in others.  To define culture some say it is as
easy to say family, and stop there.  The location of my upbringing, doesn’t that mean more than what my mother and father have taught me?

In my opinion defining culture with the simple word of family is like defining a star with the word sun.  It is more complex than just one word, even more complex than words.  Culture combines our knowledge of the known, the possibility of the unknown, and the intelligence to know that both define us.

Raised by a loving family in the United States of America I have had access to some of the best schools in the world.  Nurtured to mind my manners and respect my elders I was given guidance by my parents that has molded me into what I am today.  I look back, more often than I should, at all the events that have happen in my life that put me into the situation I am in now.

I can wake up and decide whether or not to brush my teeth, take a shower, and put on clean closes.  I can walk into my office and turn the computer on and access the internet, and bitch about it when Charter fails me.  Television has been in my life
from day one, without it I would be lost.

I can wake up and grab more covers, turn the AC on, or turn the heat up.  I can call 911…I can call my mom everyday… I can call my grandma everyday… I can go to my friend’s kids birthday party…I can learn how to speak Spanish…I can type on this computer all night…

All of this because I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan on August 29, 1981, and not August 28^th or 30^th.  Tell me I would still be writing this paper right now if I was born a minute earlier?  A Minute later?  In Florida a week early?  What if my mom had stopped at one extra stop light on the way to the hospital?  The elevator took 30 seconds longer?

I was in a near fatal car crash my senior year of high school.  Voted worst driver of my graduating class for blowing through a dead-end, jumping a guard rail, and stopping dead center on the north bound lane of U.S.27.

Does culture define all of these events?  Does the decisions I made when I was 5 years-old determine where I die when I’m 55?  How come I had a state police officer tell me that, “we are led to believe that your father has been killed in a car accident?”
Then leave five minutes later after apologizing to me for showing me a picture of some other dead guy.

What if making a left turn on Shepherd road would have killed me? Or someone else?  How many other people who were born in Michigan get a felony 6 months after turning 18 for stealing money out of some punk kids gym locker?

How can a 10-year-old kid decide whether or not to go to his great grandma’s funeral , or go to the water park with his cousin Berry he only sees once a year? Should I have been the one to decide that?  If I name my puppy Bart instead of Joke does he still get run over by a car?  Does my friend John still get a divorce if doesn’t call the dog back across the street?

Maybe Barry Sanders doesn’t retire and the Lions win Super bowl XXXIII.   My cousin Nate never gives me his Jack Daniels, or my friend Kevin never gives me a cigarette, do I smoke and drink now, 15 years later?  I wear pants that fit me
all through middle school; does that mean I have a kid when I’m 16?

If my parents don’t get a divorce do I still graduate high school?  What if I never play a signal game of World of Warcraft … would I still be writing this?  What about that night over at Andy’s house, when we hit that tree, does the truck hit one later on that night when we are going faster?

What if my friend Kevin dies in his ATV accident?  Neither of his kids would be born, I would have less birthday parties to
go to…If the Lions win Super Bowl XXXIII does the cop still tell me my dad is dead?  Or does my dad really die?  What if I killed someone that night on U.S. 27…someone that later would give birth to a girl in Egypt.  What if Loopy never dies?

What if I never work in North Carolina, and Harry never saves my life? Who dies instead of Scott Bendele, if I say one more thing to him after school that day?  What if Mike and Joe never let me take my cousins bike apart, do we stay friends through high school?  Does my cousin Nate still give me the Jack Daniels?  If Mike is my friend and Scott never dies do I still take the money from the locker room?

What if Eddie never accuses me of doing it?  Or Matt doesn’t defend me?  If I miss the 3^rd down catch freshman year, am I still drunk after the game my senior year?  What if my dad never punches me for smoking a cigarette?  If Kevin, John, and I never
smash the big red beast, does he run someone over the next summer on Belnap St?

If I never steal the money…then no felony, no felony I get an apartment in Charlotte, Harry isn’t there to rush me to the hospital…the accident never happens with the Oldsmobile, I don’t go to jail on Christmas eve…Mike leaves earlier for work and it turns into my word against hers…

What if Tim never works at Rite-Way…I never meet Amanda…My dog Hank, is never “my dog”…he never makes the Morning Sun…my dad never sells his Honda…what if Kevin never shoots me in the chest with Nate’s gun, am I still in his wedding?

What happens if I stop writing now…………

IF ONLY IT WAS THIS SIMPLE

If only it was this simple..  Warren Buffett’s quotes about the debt ceiling
and “Congressional Reform Act of 2011”

Clear and concise … Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling: “I could end the deficit in 5 minutes,” he told CNBC. “You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971…before computers, e-mail, cell phones, etc.  Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land…all because of public pressure.

                Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise. In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.  This is one idea that really should be passed around.

*Congressional Reform Act of 2011*

1. No Tenure / No Pension.  A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

2.  Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.  All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.  Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

Maybe it is time !!!